Forgeting might be the best way to remember vocabulary
Our brains are built for high-dimensional information (rich context, multiple senses, interconnected ideas) rather than low-dimensional information (a single, isolated vocabulary word on a flashcard).
In machine learning (which Kaufmann references via AI pioneer Geoffrey Hinton), words are mapped in high-dimensional vector spaces. An isolated word has very few connections, so the brain discards it to save energy. But a word encountered in a story—connected to an emotion, an image, a character, and a grammatical structure—has thousands of neural anchor points.
Cognitive psychologist Robert Bjork's "New Theory of Disuse."proved that Retrieval Strength (how easily you remember a word right now) and Storage Strength (how deeply the word is wired into your brain) are different. When you forget a word (retrieval drops) and then re-encounter it later in a new context, your brain is forced to rebuild the pathway. This struggle creates a massive spike in Storage Strength, making the neural connection far more profound than if you had just stared at a flashcard for an hour.
We usually think of language learning as a battle to retain everything we see. Kaufmann flips this by declaring that "natural, relaxed forgetting" is actually the fifth language skill. If you try to force yourself to remember a specific word or name, the anxiety blocks the memory. The harder you pull, the tighter the knot gets. As soon as you relax and "let go," the word surfaces.
Drawing on AI research, Kaufmann notes that learning a language is not about retrieving specific "files" (words) from a cabinet. It is about exposing the brain to a network of connections. Every time you read or listen, you are slightly re-weighting these connections.
Kaufmann, as a polyglot, notes that forgetting is an active, healthy mechanism of the brain. When he studies Arabic, his brain naturally pushes aside his Korean or Greek to "make room." This should not cause anxiety. The language isn't gone; the neural pathways are just dormant. When he returns to Greek later, he finds that "rediscovering" it is incredibly fast. The brain reactivates those old associations, making the second time around much easier.
Kaufmann criticizes the school system's obsession with "getting things right" and passing tests via forced, deliberate retrieval (rote memorization). Instead, he advocates for involuntary memory—the natural, effortless way words stick in your brain because they are tied to a feeling, a song, or a memory. When you acquire language naturally through massive exposure, the words you do remember stick profoundly because they are anchored in high-dimensional context, not low-dimensional flashcards.
Reflection:
1. You should also build the connections between your brain and your mouth when learning a new language.
2. When you are lack of confidence to speak a new language, or do a public presentation, you are just doing the process of reweighting the connection.